So, it has once again been ages since I've updated but I don't really give a shit. It does make me feel better to be able to put what I've been filling into writing. So much has happened! I feel like something new and exciting happens in my life like at least once every 2 weeks! I also remembered the other day that when I first started this blog I was supposed to write a blog about people and things that I have rid my life of and for good reasons and never wrote that soooooo, here it is!
I finally finished my spring semester of actual sit-down-in-a-class-&-interact for the first time in well over 7 years. I finished my associates online and in order to get into another college I first had to take a math class. Intermediate Algebra, at 8am. 2 days a week. What the hell was I thinking. I am not a morning person at all. It was awful, I literally had to con myself into getting out of bed in the morning with thoughts of going back to bed after my hour & a half long class was done. I think that was the only thing that got me through. Anyway, 5 months later and I finally finished!! And I barley hung on, but I finished and conquered you, you stupid algebra! I never have to take another math class in school again! I finished with a 76%, so it wasn't awful, but could have been better. Whatever. The good news is that I am finally going to finish my BS! At Penn State!
It's going to sound really gay and ridiculous, but I am so proud of myself for getting into Penn State and getting to finish my BS at such a well known school. I honestly never thought I would have the chance to do something like this. I never labeled myself as a smart girl, and I never have been very good with school. I'm just super proud of myself and I think it's awesome that I have this opportunity to do this.
I also realized the other day how unbelievably lucky I am to have such a great and fantastic support system of friends and family. And I'm so glad that I've discarded the bad apples from my life. But more on that next. Seriously though, I was having a rough day the other day. It was Sunday night before my final portfolio in math was due and I was having the hardest time in the world trying to figure out a few of the math problems. I was over eating and just coming off the plateau that I finally hurdled over, I was stressed out that I was going to gain all the weight back that I lost (not possible to gain over 40lb back in one week, but whatever, I was stressed!). On top of that, I was worried about Kristin (sorry about droppin' names, haha), who was also plateaued but I didn't feel like she was trying and wasn't working out. I told her but immediately felt regret because I almost didn't feel like it was my place to say something like that to her. I was surprised by her reaction and it actually made me cry. She told me that I was good friend for looking out for her and trying to keep her motivated. It literally made me cry. Kyle thought I was insane. I am, but that's a whole other chapter! Anyway, the moral of this story is that I have such an amazing group of friends. Jenna, Kristin, Kyle, Steve and everyone at work. Even my brother has been surprisingly supportive. My mom will encourage me with whatever, so that kind of goes without saying. I'm just so lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life. I don't need anyone else at this point. <3
But, as I started my journey to becoming a better person with school and health, I also noticed that some of my 'friends' were not on the same page as me. We are 27 years old. There's absolutely not reason for someone our age to need to go out to the bar more 1 night every month, IF THAT! Yes, a girls night out or whatever is fine, but when you start making a habit of it and letting it affect everything from your marriage to your friends that you grew up with by trading them in for a more alcoholic crowd then you have a problem. It just wasn't the path I wanted to go down so I literally stopped calling or answering the phones with she called. It finally stopped and we have not spoken in over 6 months. It's been amazing. She and I did weight watchers together about 4 years ago. She lost over 70lbs and was looking great and doing such a good job. Then all the above things started happening. And she gained back every single pound she lost plus some. It's a sad situation but you can only try to help someone for so long before you literally say fuck it. The same goes for a few other friends. Pushing all your friends aside for people you don't even know. Getting pissy when I have to change plans because I have a job and go to school and you live off your husbands pay and don't have to do anything except drink.
So, I finally said I'm done. I washed my hands of it. I once used the description at work about how I felt and it was pretty good. I said it's like we were both in a lake swimming and a whirlpool came out of nowhere. I stuck around for a little because she was in there with me but decided that I wanted to be able to get us both out, so I swam as hard as I could, trying to encourage her and made it back to shore and when I looked back she was still stuck in that whirlpool making no efforts to get out. And there was no way I was going back in after her into it. You can only help people for so long. They need to want to help themselves.
So, that's my story. I also feel like it's about time I make a new goal for myself weight loss wise. I'm going to think about what I want to do about that, then next time I'll post it on here! Have a great day guys!
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